not ready

Lately I have been experiencing a certain feeling.
And I don't think I have ever experienced this feeling before.

I don't want this school year to end.
I'm not ready.

Never did I ever say those words during high school.
I started counting down the days to graduation at the end of my sophomore year.
I had some good memories of high school, but the memories I made in those three years do not compare to the memories I have made in 9 short months of college.

I have 10 more days of my freshman year. 10 more days of living on the same floor as the 10 girls who have become my best friends. 10 more days to live the life I never thought I would have at Utah State University.

And I am not ready to say goodbye to this life I have come to love so much.

I'm not ready to not be surrounded by loud, bubbly people 24/7.
I'm not ready to take all my belongings out of this place that so quickly became my home.
I'm not ready to not be able to run to first dam to think.
I'm not ready to leave and not be showered with hugs and kisses upon my arrival, even though my absence was a couple hours on campus.
I'm not ready to not have sporadic dance parties to get the wiggles out.

I will even miss my classes. I will miss the professors I have come to respect and love. I will miss learning everyday. I will miss learning something new about myself everyday.

On the other hand, I will not miss the math lab. But I will miss the helpful people there. Without them, I would not be passing that class. And with a grade I am proud of.

But as the days disappear and the countdown gets smaller and smaller, I will remember all the memories I made this year. I finally understand the concept Dr. Seuss taught.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

I don't know how to accurately convey the feeling of gratitude I have towards everything that happened this school year.

Just know if I met you this year, I love you. I love the memories we made. Thank you for making this year one I don't want to say goodbye to.