"I became a journalist to come as close as possible to the heart of the world.” -Henry Luce

Who knew a class with the word "introduction" in the title would be the hardest class I would take? Who knew that the professor I thought was the ultimate jerk who turn out to be my favorite professor?

Here is what I have learned. When you dedicate so much time to something, you learn to love it.

This semester I put hours upon hours into my journalism class. It seemed like every time someone asked me what homework I was working on, my reply was consistently journalism.

Between weekly quizzes, weekly online discussion, weekly articles, staying up to date on The Salt Lake Tribune, Hell week, and one heck of a real Crucible, I was booked. Literally I didn't go one day this semester without working on that class. Including the weekends. News never sleeps. And I guess because news never sleeps, LaPlante thought his students shouldn't either.

Although this sounds like hell (and trust me, it was) it was the most rewarding course I have ever taken. Besides improving my writing technique and grammar skills, I grew immensely as a person.

As a child, I was the kid who would hid behind my mom's legs when someone talked to me. I was the kid whose face would turn completely red if the teacher said my name out loud in front of the class (and yes, I still into a tomato on occasion).

Though I outgrew a lot of this shyness through the years, talking to new people was not something I outgrew.

Until I had this class.

This class forced me into searching people out, introducing myself, asking people personal questions along with way more social interaction than I would have ever done voluntarily.

Even last week when I was trying to figure out my living situation for next year, I didn't hesitate at all to call the landlord or knock on a complete strangers door to ask if I could look around their house. As silly as it seems, these sort of things would have given me major anxiety months ago. Just look at me go now!

Besides this, I learned to appreciate tough love. I am not exaggerating at all when I say LaPlante is the scariest man I have ever met. Or at least that is what I thought at the beginning of the semester.

He dropped the F-bomb on the daily. Sometimes saying sentences that consisted of "effidy eff eff eff", or casually mixing a word, place or someone's name along with it. He ripped apart my work in front of the class multiple times. I was singled out in front of the class on several occasions for something I did wrong. At first, it was humiliating. I strutted into that class believing I was the best writer in there, just like all the other students. This class humbled me and taught me a heck a lot about things you wouldn't even realize went into newswriting.

LaPlante is one of the coolest people I have ever met. He has experienced and seen some crazy things. I was completely captivated every time he shared a story with us. Little did I know before, journalists seriously have the capability to experience things the average person would never dream of. When you work up your credibility, earn people's trust and do your research, the payoff is unreal.

This class gave me a little taste of the payoff journalism can give if it is done correctly.

I remember the first week of class, there were not enough chairs for everyone in the room. One by one, the class got smaller everyday. As I took the breaking news final yesterday, I sat among 11 other people. More than half had dropped out at various points during the semester. Some even dropped out two weeks ago, in the midst of the crazy Crucible.

Only the strong survived this class and I am proud to say I was one of the few who made it. I may have been staggering, maybe even crawling on my hands and knees as I crossed the finish line, but I did it.

Before we took our breaking news final yesterday afternoon, LaPlante asked us if we were ready. The girl next to me replied, and I quote, "Hell yeah."

Without a determined attitude, this class would have been impossible. Each day I became more and more determined to prove that I deserved to be in this class.

I wasn't mistaken when I heard this class referred to as a boot camp.

It kicked my butt. And I kicked it right back.

not ready

Lately I have been experiencing a certain feeling.
And I don't think I have ever experienced this feeling before.

I don't want this school year to end.
I'm not ready.

Never did I ever say those words during high school.
I started counting down the days to graduation at the end of my sophomore year.
I had some good memories of high school, but the memories I made in those three years do not compare to the memories I have made in 9 short months of college.

I have 10 more days of my freshman year. 10 more days of living on the same floor as the 10 girls who have become my best friends. 10 more days to live the life I never thought I would have at Utah State University.

And I am not ready to say goodbye to this life I have come to love so much.

I'm not ready to not be surrounded by loud, bubbly people 24/7.
I'm not ready to take all my belongings out of this place that so quickly became my home.
I'm not ready to not be able to run to first dam to think.
I'm not ready to leave and not be showered with hugs and kisses upon my arrival, even though my absence was a couple hours on campus.
I'm not ready to not have sporadic dance parties to get the wiggles out.

I will even miss my classes. I will miss the professors I have come to respect and love. I will miss learning everyday. I will miss learning something new about myself everyday.

On the other hand, I will not miss the math lab. But I will miss the helpful people there. Without them, I would not be passing that class. And with a grade I am proud of.

But as the days disappear and the countdown gets smaller and smaller, I will remember all the memories I made this year. I finally understand the concept Dr. Seuss taught.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

I don't know how to accurately convey the feeling of gratitude I have towards everything that happened this school year.

Just know if I met you this year, I love you. I love the memories we made. Thank you for making this year one I don't want to say goodbye to.

everlasting beginnings.

Let me just begin by saying that General Conference rocked it yet again this past weekend.

Uchtdorf, especially rocked it, in my opinion.

He is probably my personal favorite to listen to in the first place and then he spoke on something I really needed to hear.

He spoke on being grateful in any circumstance.

As the final weeks of my freshman year of college tick away, I have been feeling really stressed and anxious. Mostly I am feeling these emotions because school is kicking my butt. I have assignments due EVERY NIGH. I feel like all I do it type away on my laptop and spend all the days trapped in the math lab and library. BOO! Do you think that's how I want to spend my final weeks of freshman year instead of spending this precious time with the people I have come to love so so much??

That brings me to my second point of why I have been feeling so stressed and anxious. I swear, it feels like everyone around me has so much free time on their hands, allowing them to be as carefree as they like! It just doesn't feel fair... and I know I am not being fair by saying that... they have tests and papers and assignments too... but I feel like I am always that n00b that has to lock myself in my room or spend all day on campus instead of being social and having fun.

Uchtdorf made me want to make a goal to be grateful for everything that happens to me... in these final weeks of school and for the rest of my life. So far, I haven't been doing a very good job at it. Since Sunday, I have already had like two mental breakdowns... erps. But I am trying harder this week to be grateful for what I am learning, people who are helping me get through it (shout out to my mom), and optimistic people who give me the strength to push through it and still have some fun along the way (mahalla at my girls).

Today I had lunch with a girl who is also studying abroad in Milan this fall. I am grateful for her... and I hardly even know her at this point! Above all, I am grateful I will have a fellow Utahan in Italy with me. Today I learned she is a member of the church, and I am even more grateful for that. I am grateful there will be somebody else who doesn't party every weekend, who doesn't drink wine with every meal, who understands my standards, who understands my type of fun.

She also reminded me of all the blessings I have today as we talked. She is also a journalism major. She is in the same, near impossible, journalism class as me. Along with getting through "The Crucible", she is taking 18 credits total, and works full time. She is paying for her education and will be paying for study abroad, almost completely on her own.

Although I share her struggle of "The Crucible", I don't have to worry about some of the same things she does.

While my classes are very time consuming, I still have time to live my freshman year with a smile on my face. I do have my face in front of my laptop a majority of the time, but I can still find time to support Kenzie at her soccer games, play with Dan and Dev's new puppy, have dance parties, laugh until I cry, go nuts in my dorm with my roommates, and all the things you should do during your freshman year.

In addition, I come from a family who is not stressed over finances. My parents are able to pay for my education and can send me to Italy for a semester. They are willing to drive up to Logan at any time of the day if I need it. I know they are there for me and they support me in all my decisions. How grateful I am to have them for eternity!

As I listened to Utchdorf's talk, I could hardly keep up with all the incredible truths he was bearing testimony of.

Here are some of my favorite one liners:

"Gratitude is a catalyst to all christlike attributes."

"I’m suggesting that instead of being grateful for things we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be."

“We can choose to be grateful, no matter what."

“When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation.”

“How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God there is rain?” 

“Being grateful in time of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.” 

And my two all time favorites....

"Endings are merely interruptions, a temporary pause in our eternal progression, which will one day seem small in the eternal joy waiting for us."

“How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true ending, only everlasting beginnings.” 

day dreaming.

Life just got a whole lot more distracting.
I am already day dreaming about the places I hope to see.

First there is Italy, of course.

• Venice
• Siena
• Florence
• Milan
• Rome
• Tuscany
• Bologna
• Bra
• Lake Como
• Cinque Terre

And then basically everywhere else....

• Greece (Athens, Santorini)
• Austria (Vienna, Salzburg
• Belgium (Brussels) 
• Czech Republic (Prague) 
• Spain (Madrid, Barcelona) 
• Hungry (Budapest)
• Turkey (Istanbul)
• Finland (Helsinki)
• Germany (Berlin, Munich)
• Ireland (Dublin)
• Switzerland (Lugano, the Swiss Alps, Lauterbrunnen, Geneva, [I have a secret obsession with all things Switerland.... so anywhere will do really])
• The Netherlands (Amsterdam)
• England (London, Cornwall)
• France (Paris)
• Portugal (Lisbon)
• Denmark (Copenhagen) 
• Sweden (Stockholm, Gothenburg)

The fact that some of these will actually become my reality in a matter of months blows my mind. 

I want to become a traveler, not a tourist. 

I want to dive into every possible culture.

I want to eat bizarre food with happy people.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed 

by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. 

So throw off the bowlines. 

Sail away from the safe harbor. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Let's do it.

2014, you are my year. 

Mi sto muovendo Italia!!!

The title says it all guys.

I'M MOVING TO ITALY!

Today I got a confirmation from ISEP and yes, I am freaking out and kind of sort of really really loving life. 

Let's just ponder for a moment all the things that await me in Italia.... 

1. Italian cuisine. Pasta, pizza, gelato, assortments of cheeses, pastries, NUTELLA... seriously, need I say more?

2. The art and architecture. That culture you guys.... I love it. So very very much. 

3. All the beautiful surrounding cities. I can't wait to travel... may it be by train, plane, or boat.

4. The fashion. No joke kids, I am going to get to visit the editorial offices of Vanity Fair and Vogue Italia. Say whaaaaaat

5. The language. I may be lost and confused for a large portion, but I am sooooo not complaining about getting to listen to people speak to me in Italian. That language is beautiful. And I am going to get to learn to speak it. Sono così eccitat!!!!

6. Italian men. That one speaks for itself. 

7. I get to pretend like I am Lizzie Mcguire everyday. Hey Pablo, I'm coming for you ;)

8. I get to make friends from allllll over the world. Perks of Study Abroad. Holla

9. I'll be about 5 hours from Rome. Maybe I can find the piece of my heart I left there when I was thirteen. 

10. Adventures everyday. Whether it be exploring Milan, getting lost in a city, meeting someone new, going somewhere I have always dreamed.... everyday is going to be an adventure. And I look forward to all the ups and downs I know I will have each day. 

The list could go on and on. I am about to begin a wild journey. But that is what life is all about. Today is a good day. 

ciao 

(:

spring.

This spring weather is killing me.

Seriously, I am loving it way too much. Although it is causing me to have an extremely difficult time concentrating and enduring these last couple weeks of school, it brightens every day and helps me find peace and hope. Lately I have been stressing over school (mainly my near impossible journalism class) and I just haven't been as peppy as usual. I just want to play with all the people I have met this school year before we all go our separate ways this summer!

My coping method has been to spend time outside in this wonderful world God created just for us! When the weather is pleasant I try to take advantage by studying outdoors. And today I went on a really great run to First Dam. YOU GUYS. I'm seriously obsessed with the place I live. Logan is oh so pretty.

Check it.

I am so excited for summer

but I am not ready to leave this place

spontaneity.

Spontaneity. 

This is the perfect word to describe my spring break. On Tuesday Kenz Dawg, Rachet Rach, and I ventured down to St. George. Tuesday was supposed to be our only "unplanned" day but the way things went our whole trip was extremely spontaneous. And to be honest, not knowing what we would be doing or where we would be sleeping for that matter, was oh so thrilling.

I actually started blogging my adventures earlier today, but the entry ended up being almost a mile long and I wasn't near finished.... So I copied and pasted it into a word document and saved it for my own documentation. Instead I am going to give all the highlights and post a couple of my favorite pictures.

Tuesday:

• The moment we arrived in St. George, we found a random trail and hiked while enjoying the last moments of sunlight. The smell of nearby campfires and sun hitting my back made me immediately nostalgic for summer! Good thing it's only a couple months away!
• Later that night we met up with Bert, Joey, Papa and Greg. We hung at their trailer for a while, ended up venturing to Dixie Rock, had some good laughs up there and then went to Denny's when the boys got hungry and the girls got cold. We stayed in Denny's close to three hours.
• When it was time to split ways with the boys we found ourselves getting soooooo lucky regarding our sleeping situation. Rachel's friend Doug had found out we were most likely going to sleep in our car and offered to let us go to his sweet grandparents house. While this sounds super weird, they weren't home, completely okay with letting us into their house, and apparently this would not be the first time this happened. 
• When we drove up, we discovered we would not be abiding in a house, but in fact a mansion. I am telling you, good things happen to those who go with the flow. 
• I am going to mention now we referred to Doug's grandparent's as Nana and Papa Costely. Without even knowing these people, we instantly bonded. 

Wednesday:

• After sleeping til noon and hitting up Walmart and Subway for food, we spent the rest of the daylight hours poolside at Nana and Papa Costely's clubhouse. No one else was at the pool so we had the whole place to ourselves.  
• When we were done at the pool and fresh and showered, we made a miraculous discovery about Nana Costely. NANA IS BALD! We were looking for lotion and found about 6 wigs in a drawer instead. Naturally we tried them on.
• Couple hours later, we met up with my bro Brian and his Buddies at Iceberg. We got a TON of ice cream, played ultimate hide and go seek at our cousins house (once again, another big house empty... they were at DisneyLand), and crashed there.

Thursday:

RANDOMLY PLACED FORGIVE ME. This is Wendy. You will meet her later in the story. But since Blogger is not letting me put it where I want it, just keep this in your memory for now and you will understand the hilarity behind it later. I promise. 

• The seven of us piled into one car and drove to Zion. We successfully avoided all the cop cars on our way by hiding 2 people every time we passed the police. (And yes, it twas a feat because there was a bizarre amount of coppers out that day). 
• We waited at the bottom at Angels Landing for close to an hour for our other friends, hiked to Emerald Pool to kill some time while we waited some more (gorgeous place btw), got back, waited some more, and then determined we would run into them at some point.
• Angels Landing: WHAT A FUN/ TERRIFYING HIKE. Loved it though. We had some good adventures on our way up too. I sniped a butterfly out of thin air (killed it in the process.. whoops), climbed around in some cave, and laughed and joked together the whole way up. I am so happy me and my brother combined our groups. We had such a fun time together! It was so sad when they left us Friday morning. 
• At the top we chilled for quite a while. We took some pics, ate some food, and had ourselves a grand time!
• After hanging for a while, the girls finally showed up! We caught up for a while, took some more pics, sung the Scotsman at the top of our lungs together, and showed the whole world how much it rocks to be an Aggie!!! It is ALWAYS a good day to be an Aggie.
• My brother and his crew left during this and got about a half hour head start on  us. So make up for lost time, once we got through the treacherous part of the hike we ran down the entire mountain. I am still a bit sore from that. Haha but it was super fun! We were laughing and talking and looking surely ridiculous, which I loved. The best part about it was.... we actually caught up with them! I was shocked!
• When we got back to our town, we went back to the Costely's and hot tubbed for the night. I felt great and Disney Trivia was a good time too.
• After we went back to Adams and ate our leftover Iceberg ice cream. That didn't satisfy my brother, so we actually made a trip back to Smiths to get some more. What a fatty right? ;)
• Back at Adam's, we played a really great game together while we ate some treats. I'm going to call it "this" or "that". Basically it's a simplified version of "would you rather". I love it. It is so vague, hilarious, and you learn a lot about the people you are with. 
• We watched the movie Gravity, I DO NOT recommend it even though for some reason all the critics do.

Friday:

• The boys woke up and left to go back home around 11 and so we left Adam's shortly after. 
• We were on our way to meet up with the girls when we found out they all had plans. So we randomly ended up in the cutest area with an Antique shop. What a great thing that was. We got some supa cute jewelry and the shop owner, Wendy, was seriously the definition of a hoot. To give you a taste of her personality, Rachel tried on a necklace and Wendy jumped backwards and gasped, "Oh, you look scary!" Hahahaha so we all started laughing wayyyyy hard and she goes, "Oh, did I say scary?? Sometimes I get scary and pretty all mixed up!" Hahahah I want to be as cool as her when I grow up, that's for sure. 
• Next we chilled at a park and made our game plan. It was a gorgeous day and the perfect day to lay out poolside. So our solution was to drive around until we found a hotel with a pool we could "sneak" into. We first went and got drinks and cookies at Swig (holy yum) and then ended up at Best Western. We hung there most of the day. And oh, btw, probably the best part about this whole trip was how much we talked. Normally when you are laying out, you kind of just sit there and jam to your own music. But nope, we talked the whole time. And I don't mean the whole time at the pool. Like the whole trip. None of us had our phones out much. I loved it. That was probably the secret to how great our break was. 
• Dinner was at Chilis. I feel bad to anyone who was sitting near us because we had a serious case of the giggles. 
• We explored around the rocks at Pioneer Park. COOL PLACE GUYS. I could climb around there all day long. 
• We went to meet up with the girls at the big lit up D, but we sort of chickened out when Megan told us it was illegal and some crotchety old man got mad at us. 
• They all went to Swig, but we didn't get anything (except for some perfectly good cookies someone threw away in the garbage).
• We left to go back to Dixie Rock and met up with some friends from college.
• With them we ventured far into Pioneer Park. It was almost a full moon so we had just enough light to hike far back and find a cool little cave thing. In the cave we told some "scary stories". I say "scary" because we were all dying of laughter. Karl and Dev are just too goofy. 
• After I met up with Mandaline and Emily for a while because they had just gotten to St. George! We didn't hang long though because poor Kenz had a killer headache and Rach and I were exhausted. 
• Doug had also arrived in St. George so we went back to good old Nana and Papa Costley's to crash.

Saturday:

• This day was pretty slow. We were all tired and planned on heading out late afternoon. 
• One of the best activities of Saturday was when Rach and I did some yoga on the rocks in the back yard to stretch our sore bodies from running down Angels Landing. 
• Fun Fact from this day: I ate tomatoes and really enjoyed them. Normally I avoid tomatoes at all costs, but Nana put some out for us and it may have just been starvation but I ate a bunch and really found them to be quite delicious!
• After just enjoying the warm outdoors, we headed home.

I realized this may not seem like highlights but compared to what I had earlier this is very small. 

I loved spring break. Even though it was NOTHING like we had planned or expected, it could not have turned out better! We got so close, pretty much have a new language based off all our jokes, and lived with no regrets!

#gettinsleazyinstgeezysb2k14 #the1975edish #edishthatish

Vote Felicia for lyfe!!! We will represent you well, we know how to live!

LEEEEEDS!

Gettin our swim on.

Nana Costley is bald, but we love her nonetheless. 

wait did rach just dye her hair or nah

The Emerald City - City + Pools

three cheers for this fun crew

but first, lemme take a selfie at the tippy top of Angels Landing. 

Only in Cottontown Village. (Bath .25, Clean Water .50, lol arrest $25)

Apparently I'm antique or something because I wear DI clothes and chucks. But I'm okay with that. 

Our woman Wendy. What a hoot you guys, what a hoot.
(refer back to earlier picture :) )

Climbing on horses cause why not?

Our first hike!

At the trial head of Angels Landing with this lovely. 

Supes ready to hike hike hike

Whoops sorry butterfly, didn't mean to make you squishy scuashy. 

He left his left mark on the world on my ring finger. 

distracted by all the fun climbing you can do

mah ladies and I

We love life. 

I love them. 

personalities should be flaunted 

Cheering cause we ran all the way down

The best of times with the best people. 

Can we go back to this moment??